zodiaccity:

Zodiac Gemini Facts — Leave it to Gemini to pay close attention to the aura or vibe they feel from others….

thequeenstons:

"I tried not to reblog this I swear"

Yeah well you fucking failed. how does it feel to be a fucking failure you piece of shit

(Source: foxdear)

2srooky:

abunchofgrapes:

2srooky:

whyamisospooky:

you’re such a b**** (bagel)

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why is ewan mcgregor saying that in front of a waterfall

Why not.

(Source: wurnbo)

samchekov:

crystalmath:

bubonickitten:

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the authors of this textbook were clearly high as a kite when they wrote this chapter

WEENIE SPEED HOIYL FUC

Weenie factor 8 Mr sulu

matociquala:

damngruchy:

supermassiveasshole:

i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because “i didnt show her the knitting programme” and i was like what

and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns

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my grandma is 82

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The street finds its own uses.

(Source: supermassiveasshole)

carrotcatmd:

STORY:On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.The following conversation occurs between the two of them:Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ Manager: ‘No. A what?’ Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.Do you have anything else?’ Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? Server: ‘I don’t know.’ Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ Server: ‘Yeah.’ Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ Server: ‘What should I do?’ Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ Me: ‘Why not?’ Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ Me: ‘Excuse me?’ Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ Me: ‘What on earth for?’ Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ Me: ‘No.’ Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ Guard: ‘Yeah.’Security Guard walks over to me and……Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ Me: ‘Uh, no.’ Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ Me: ‘Why?’ Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

millenniumfalconteahouse:

timelady-of-221b:

joeeatspeople:

yesidolikecoatsbigtime:

Types of people who romanticize small town life:

  1. People who didn’t grow up in small towns

#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST

#THERE’S NOTHING TO DO
#EVERYONE’S ON DRUGS

#WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE GANGSTERS YOU ARE WHITE AND THERE ARE COWS OUTSIDE

(Source: queencitysavior)

sassyaspersassy:

hellolaurenlopez:

alwaysactually:

lusilly:

some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”

wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”

"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"

PLEASE

YOU CANT JUST GO TO THE MOON

YOU NEED A ROCKETSHIP

DO YOU HAVE A ROCKETSHIP, POTTER?

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(Source: lusilly2)

dorriian:

i honestly JUST NOW realized why darwin from the amazing world of gumball has feet

the guy who realized the theory of evolution name is darwin

im laughing